florence welch: probably like 200 BCE celtic queen
keeanu reeves: 1500 renaissance hoe
jeff goldblum: late 1800′s i would guess
harry styles: fairly new immortal, 1970′s
lorde: 1920′s flapper era
hozier: man who even knows, rough estimate is like, 400 BCE
john mulaney: 1930′s/40′s, still bitter about the great depression probably and if he could put it in a bit with out being #exposed he would
paul rudd: newest to the immortal club, didn’t age past the 1990′s
I feel like this list is forgetting Sir Patrick Stewart who I believe has not aged since 7000 BCE.. After all his twin brother was the Kennewick man..
as a self-appointed expert on Hozier, i would say that date is possibly accurate.
many of Hozier’s songs reference being buried in the earth (In a Week, Work Song), and some are directly inspired by bog bodies (Like Real People Do, Run). two of the most famous Irish bog bodies, Old Croghan Man and Clonycavan Man, are dated between 392 and 175 BCE, and both are speculated to have been kings ritually sacrificed to the goddess of the land. in Take Me to Church, Hozier demonstrates a willingness to offer sacrifices to a goddess, and in Foreigner’s God, he thinks fondly upon the image of a pre-Christian Ireland (“when the land was God-less and free”). as well, Old Croghan Man is estimated to have been about 6′6, and Hozier is about 6′5.
the only possible flaw in this theory is that in a Facebook Q&A (here at 5:28), Hozier says that he is over 3000 years old. 400 BCE only puts him at ~2400. it could be that after so many years he’s lost track of how many thousands, but another possibility is that he is more contemporaneous with an older bog body, the Cashel Man, also presumed to be a sacrificed king. that would put him closer to 4000 than 3000, but again, we could forgive an immortal for getting his millenia wrong.
in any case,
it seems likely to me that Hozier is an ancient Irish king who was ritually sacrificed to the old gods, but somehow returned (possibly through intervention by said old gods) to give us music subtly hinting at his experiences.
this hozier addition is frighteningly detailed and I’m here for it
Men will say that sexism doesn’t exist and feminism isn’t needed any more, and yet when I ask them what they think about when they walk down a street they say ‘nothing’. You ask a woman, they say ‘whether someone’s following me’. Men will say that the patriarchy isn’t real, and then when I ask them whether they’ll ever have to wear makeup at an interview in order to be taken seriously, they’ll say no. Men will say that the #Metoo movement is stereotyping all men because of ‘a few bad eggs’, and then when I ask them whether they’ve ever been harassed before, they say no. And I say well I have, when I was thirteen and a boy decided to smack my ass out of nowhere on the school corridor. And then a girl next to me will say ‘I have too, when I was walking down the street’. And then my teacher will talk about the time she got followed home, my mum will talk about how someone tried to shove her into a car, my friend will mention the fact that she’s been wolf-whistled at by men twice her age more times than she can count. Tell, me, how big is that pile of bad eggs again?
Sexism is ingrained. Women are objectified everywhere you look. But when you tell a man that, they’ll call you a feminazi, they’ll call you an sjw, they’ll call you bitter because they don’t fucking understand. They can’t. They don’t see it because it’s just the way they live their lives. But to us- to women- it’s all we can see. Because it’s not men who get told to always watch their drinks and make sure no one spikes them, it’s not men who are told that if they’re wearing shorts they had it coming, it’s not men who will always always keep their eyes on the group of women walking nearby, just in case.
Men will say that sexism doesn’t exist and feminism isn’t needed, and it’s because they’re the ones who benefit off it.
My father’s new plan to screw over the president: everyone wear Donald Trump masks around DC and be dicks to crows so eventually all the DC area crows will hate Donald Trump and mob him
Think bigger, OP.
If we do this all around the whole country then no matter where he goes to hold a rally, the crows will be there mobbing and cawing at him like he’s the fuckin antichrist.
God you’re right
I support this plan to turn all crows everywhere against Donald Trump but I don’t know if I can bring myself to be mean to a bird even for a noble goal
Can we talk about this guy for a second? I feel like he doesn’t get enough credit even though he played, arguably, one of the most important roles in Mulan. For those of you who don’t know, this is the Chinese soldier stationed on top of the Great Wall at the beginning of the film.
After his helmet is knocked off and he sees the Huns throw grappling hooks up onto the ramparts, he calls out to the person who is supposed to be on top of the tower to light the signal. We don’t know where that person is supposed to be, but given the fact that several Huns come out from the door in this shot, we can assume they likely killed him.
But does that stop this guy? No. He judges the situation and reacts accordingly. Despite being swung at by a Hun with a large sword and being forced to pull himself up onto the tower, he doesn’t even stop to take a breather. He just grabs the torch and is about to light the signal himself when something stops him.
This guy. Shan Yu is already on top of the tower as this soldier is about to light the signal. Now, Shan Yu is already a scary mf, but I think it’s important to see how our soldier reacts to seeing him because it tells us an important detail that many people may overlook.
Look at his face. This soldier isn’t just stunned because there a massive Hun waiting for him on top of the tower, but because he recognizes said Hun. Or at least he knows enough about what Shan Yu looks like to put two and two together and assume that this is him. He knows this man and his reputation. He knows exactly the kinds of things Shan Yu is willing to do to people who stand in his way. And what does this soldier do? Does he beg for his life? Does he try to escape?
No. This bamf just looks Shan Yu right in the eye and does his duty. He lights the signal, knowing full well that doing so will likely get him killed. But, he does it anyway. And immediately after lighting the signal, he looks up the the Hun leader with this expression.
This is a man who would look Death in the face and say “Fuck you!” He knows he has maybe a few more seconds of life left and yet he stands tall. And why is this important? Because this one act of valor led to this.
The signals are being lit. All of the people of China are being warned of invasion and now they can properly prepare for the war to come. And it’s all thanks to this one brave soldier who doesn’t get nearly enough credit for his service.
This is so simple, and it will only take a moment of your time and it’s free, but it would mean the world to me. Can you please reblog this to help me spread the word of my new book? Not a like, but an actual reblog.
Coming 2/2/19
Quinn Harrison- I’m the biggest bitch in the industry, and I’m proud of my title. I work my size twelve curves and don’t take crap from anyone. Imagine my luck when I’m selected out of hundreds of publicity professionals to work with bad boy Caleb Evanstan. He is one of Hollywood’s hottest celebrities and is totally off limits. I have a hard rule about mixing business with pleasure… but one taste couldn’t hurt, right?
Caleb Evanstan- I’m every girl’s fantasy and I know it. I’m in a bad spot with the movie studio, and they want me to clean up my act. Imagine my surprise when the studio sends over the one girl who makes me want to change my ways. She’s hot-headed, intelligent, and has sexy curves—everything I’ve ever wanted in a woman. The only problem? She’s labeled herself off limits, and I want to break down her resolve.
I’ve rewatched the ad at least three times to try and figure out why some folks are angry with it and I’m at a loss.
All I see here is: Be a better human. Set a better example. Encouraging
strength of character and integrity over typical “machismo”.
